| wow. i got dumped via text message (at least its not a post it) |
[Nov. 2nd, 2009|11:43 am] |
im still walking around all zombielike in disbelief. i cant believe he broke up with me this weekend. after everything. months and months undone in a five minure span. complete and utter mierda. instead of trying to help me deal with my so-called "drinking problem" he gives me the deuce and basically tells me to fuck off. i accept responsibility for my actions, but at the same time, i think he's completely over reacting. youd think i slept with his best friend, or cheated on him (period) or stole shit from him or physically harmed someone in his family for him to act the way he did. "call me if you get sober" he texted me. riiiiiight. because im so eager to instill my trust in someone who has so easily walked away and thrown me out of his life. i cantfuckingbelieveit. i cant. and all my friends were like, whaaaat? HE broke up with YOU?
he went on and on via texts about everything hes done for me. patting himself on the back for being such a stand up guy. well theres a lot of things you didnt do ASSHOLE. so fuck you. the only upside to this is maybe itll be like when richie and i broke up and i got completely depressed and lost 30 lbs and looked all skinny and hot and got hit on by guys who never noticed me before when i was a chubster.
sigh. thats what i get for dating someone younger than me. dakls;fjdklajfkdlsjafld |
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| uggggggh |
[Dec. 19th, 2007|02:25 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  disappointed | ] |
I fancy someone but he doesnt fancy me =( |
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| Whats new pussy cat? |
[Nov. 21st, 2007|02:48 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  optimistic | ] |
After almost two years of dating Richie, the asshole and I have finally gone our separate ways. At first, I was uncomfortable with my singlehood but now that Im more comfortable with myself and my current situation, I must say I FUCKING loooooove being single. No more being bitched at for talking to male friends, no one complaining about what Im wearing and asking me to change, no one checking up on me all the time...Im free to do what I want, when I want. And since Ive started working out pretty much on a daily basis (and Ive stopped being friends with my supplier), Ive managed to remain drug free for the last month or so. Im still at B&N (haha...so much for it being my temp job), but I really enjoy working there and Im at the new store so its a fresh start free of the cunts I used to work with at the old store. Thanksgivings coming up, and I finally feel I have a lot to be thankful for...and let me just say, its about fucking time! |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 18th, 2006|02:02 am] |
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note to self: start taking MEDS |
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| i had the most peculiar dream... |
[Aug. 29th, 2006|03:00 pm] |
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I was breastfeeding a snake for the love of God...a snake--I want to say a python maybe but I'm no herpetologist. All I remember was it didnt have fangs...it was just sucking on my breast--sucking it dry. And I wasnt thinking "holy shit there's a snake sucking on my teat" noooo i was thinking "damn, breastfeeding is making my boobs look bad."
try looking that up in a dream dictionary |
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| bah |
[Aug. 29th, 2006|03:27 am] |
I spoke with my mum earlier today, and according to my cousin who also lives in Tyler, my dad has gotten remarried for the 4th time (wasnt the 3rd time supposed to be the charm). I hope he didnt marry who I think he might have married...I specifically asked him not to marry her because she's a sweet, sweet lady who doesnt need to be fucked over by an asshole like him. I havent spoken to him since my birthday....so like going on 6 months. whatfuckingever...
Not that I would have bothered myself to make the 9 hour trip to the wedding, still it would have been nice to have been included. I give it 18 months max--I suppose I should be glad he didn't remarry my mum.
What fucking nerve...that man irks me like no other. And people wonder why I never want to get married...go fucking figure.
On a lighter note, I started re-reading HP6. I read it a few weeks after it came out last year, but I was in such a hurry to finish the book, I didnt take my time and enjoy it so I'm reading it a bit more closely in hopes of picking up tidbits that might foreshadow its successor on 7/7/7.
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 29th, 2006|01:50 am] |
My reality show addiction is starting to hit its peak and cut into my work hours....
So many shows, so little time.
I just started watching Gene Simmons' new show (I have a crush on his son).
So far...
Flavor of Love on Sunday (entertaining but not enough to ask off for)
Dancing w/ the Stars on Tuesday (Mario Lopez, Joey Lawrence, Emitt Smith--enough said)
Project Runway Wednesdays (I have the night off)
and Survivor should be starting up again the second week of Sept. (requesting Thursdays nights off)
Note to self: cough up the extra $$ for dvr
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| my days now... |
[Aug. 27th, 2006|10:13 pm] |
consist of playing Everquest with my guild (lame, I know...might as well buy a klingon dictionary while I'm at it) whenever I'm not working or sleeping.
I make shit working at Barnes, so I've been thinking about substitute teaching. Creditors are up my ass, and I need to do something to pacify them soon...before they crucify me.
In other news, hurrah for proproxy. |
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| i know its horribly selfish of me but... |
[Aug. 8th, 2006|04:29 pm] |
I'm so jealous that my exes' lives are happier and better oft than mine love-wise. I mean I'm happy for them in that sort of pseudohappy "how nice" but it would have been nicer if it was me....
im so going to hell
(see you there) |
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| red... |
[Aug. 3rd, 2006|01:08 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crushed | ] |
GETTHEFUCKOUT he said
IDONTWANTYOUHEREANYMORE
so I did....
...and that's why I'm sad.... |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 3rd, 2006|02:56 am] |
My nephew went on a field trip to the zoo Friday, and since I had the day off, I decided to go with him & his class. We got to the baboon (who was behind glass) and I was thinking to myself, "self, I remember the last time i went to the zoo, there were animals either having sex, jacking off, or with their yardstick-sized appendages hanging out." The baboon must have had esp because a few seconds later he just started whacking it HARDCORE. I was like oh shit, and I tried to divert the kids' attention ("um lets go see the elephants.."). There was another class there and one of the students asked his teacher what the baboon was doing and she replied "exercising". AHAHAHA. I swear, that baboon was jacking it like there was no tomorrow...it was like watching a train wreck.
well at least now when theyre older and theyre locked in their rooms and their parents knock and ask, "sweetie, what are you doing" and they reply exercising, they technically wont be lying... |
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| sooooo high |
[Mar. 28th, 2006|11:49 pm] |
today was a nice day to fly a kite...
so i did
... |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 20th, 2006|11:42 pm] |
Richie bought me a dvd yesterday (Hedwig & the Angry Inch (which if you haven't seen is outfuckinstanding)).
I had hoped to watch it tonight...but seems like fate has decided differently (boo).
Things with us seem rollercoasterish lately--I suppose thats what you get when you cross a bipolar with a borderline.
So far, I'm still enjoying the ride <3
oh, and due to spending almost all of my time with Richie and NOT studying for the bar (my fault entirely), I opted not to take it this week like I was scheduled to and will hopefully be taking it in July.
Feel free to light a candle (or multiples) for me next time youre at mass...or just go to heb and get one of those good luck/suerte candles and light one of those in your house for me so that I can get my shit in order.
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| its not hard to fall...when you float like a cannonball |
[Jan. 5th, 2006|02:32 am] |
Ive been spending almost all of my days/nights with Richie...he's the first person who I think really gets me. I loveloveLOVE how he's not your typical male--he'll actually tell me what he's thinking and feeling and we can talk about shit like that.
My mum's probably wondering where on earth I am right now...(watching celebrity poker on bravo while Richie sleeps).
I don't know whether to attribute my upbeatness to me regularly taking my meds or Richie or being sober or a combination of all three...but (aside for not having started studying for the re-bar) things are going fanfuckingtastically well...for fucking ONCE. |
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| pinch me because i must be fucking dreaming |
[Dec. 20th, 2005|08:59 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  mellow | ] |
Things were a bit rough this weekend, but we managed to smooth things over.
Works been a bitch because of all the fucking christmas shoppers who fuck up everything and then never put it back in its place!!! grrr.
I look forward to the nights because "i love it when we're cruising together"...i love driving around together in his truck listening to music full-blast and chainsmoking, with the occassional stop for nonnutritional food.
we make each other happy (which is the way it should be)♥ |
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| she shines bright like the stars |
[Dec. 8th, 2005|10:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  happy | ] |
its 11:11 make a wish (i texted him) as i made mine...
my favourite time is now officially 11:11 pm
i dont know where it's going, but im looking forward to the trip |
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| there's something about eddie... |
[Oct. 3rd, 2005|07:49 pm] |
After much pressuring from Mel, I asked Eddie for his number the next day (Saturday). Since i was working until 8, and he had just gotten out of work and was going to be hanging out with one of his friends, we decided to hang out (if time permitted). It didn't, but he ended up calling me at about 11:15 that night and we talked for about three hours. We get along really splendidly, despite the fact that we're as different as cats & dogs (minus the fighting). Since I was closing the next day and we werent really going to be able to go out anywhere, he stopped by b&n during my 30 minute break and we had starbucks while we sat on the bench and talked outside. Ack...this boy is driving me crazy, but in a good way. We were supposed to do something today, since it was my day off and he got off work at 3. He knows Im trying to clean up my act, so when he called me while he was driving home from work and said he was smoking a joint, I was like, "I can't do this." And it really bummed me out because he makes me laugh like no one else has, and we just seem to complement each other soooo well. I called him and told he I didn't think I'd be able to hang out with him (since I don't trust us alone together) outside of work because I thought it'd be better for us to just stick to being friends. He was really disappointed and asked me if there was someone else ("there's only you, eddie"), but he understood when I told him that I was trying to make an effort to be sober and I didn't want to end up fighting over his drug use and trying to change him because of the fact that I can't deal with it myself. So I was just better off not getting into anything with him. Sissy's been helping me take my mind off him, but I can't get him out of my head. Ever since the moment I met him, ive had those stupid cartoon hearts in my eyes and over my head. My brain knows I made the right decision for me, but my heart's wanting to kick its ass... |
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